Hi, friends. I've been sick this week and it's been sucktastic. I even took a sick day, which I haven't done in 2 years. I get this sinus infection every couple of years, and that's really the only kind of sickness I usually get. And the last 2 times has been brought on after I got shitface drunk. Interesting. I didn't even see Josh all week since I was quarantining myself in my apartment. I missed him! And the doggies.

As a sidenote, I'm way behind in answering comments. Tomorrow I have nothing to do, so I will spend some time doing that. So if you get something answered from 3 weeks ago, don't be too surprised.

I've been sooo effing addicted to twitter lately, I need to cut myself off. But I've had some excitement tonight 'cause a local radio guy that I've loved for, like, 10 years keeps retweeting me, even going back to my profile to see what I said about him and then tweeting it again! It's really making me giggle like a school girl. I have issues.

In I'm a Ridiculous Dumbass news, today is one Mr. W. Axl Rose's birthday. He is 48. Which means when I was 12 and obsessing over this man, he was 30. The age I am currently! Interesting. A lot of GNR forums are trying to get #happybirthdayaxl to trend on Twitter and I know I'm driving everyone crazy with my obsessive tweets, but...well, if you're my twitter friend, you're pretty much used to it anyway. This did work at some point last night/early this morning, but mostly me and few other hardcore Axl people (mostly people who live in South America...god, those people love them some GNR) were the only ones doing it over and over.

The Canadian tour is over, and it went really well. Axl never lost his cool, the setlists were pretty varied, the crowds were happy, and no riots happened! One month until South America, and then who knows. I am crossing my fingers for an US tour, but so far nothing has been announced.

So in honor of Axl's birthday, I decided to do another picspam. I know at least...4 of you on my friend's list will be interested. That makes it worth it! The theme of this one is Axl's ever-changing look throughout the years. I know you're excited. I swear to the good lord himself that I will stop being so obsessive...soon. I know I can't keep going like this or someone's going to stab me in the face. Also, this picspam took me way too fucking long.

The first one, I don't know when this is, exactly, but it's pre-Appetite tattoo, so probably the mid-eighties. He's in his early twenties.


Adorable, right?

( Continue on this journey... )

What up, guys? I don't have a lot to say this evening. I've had a day off. I cleaned out my car, caught up on some General Hospital, enjoyed the storm going down outside...now I'm at Josh's cuddling with dogs, eating pizza that he made, and watching the American President. Good times, essentially. Tomorrow I'm going to Austin! Wheeeee.

Also, I wanted to share something with y'all. On the GN'R message board I'm on 29 hours a day, this chick added me as a friend and said in her message that I was one of the more "normal women" she saw commenting and that she'd like to be friends. I just wanted to point out that in every other aspect of my life I am crazypants, but on a GN'R message board? I'm normal. That should give you a glimpse into what insanity the GN'R fandom contains.

Thank you, and good times.

Things other than being an Axl fangirl:
- I'm going to Austin on Friday to see my brother and his boyfriend and their new boxer puppy Maxwell and the other boxer Abigail and the golden retriever Dylan! I am way excited even though I've been to Austin 400 times and it's just a 3 hour drive. But my brother loves to have me visit and usually at some point, we all go get pedicures. Pretty much it will be made of awesome.

- I am fat. I need to not be.

- I'm about to caption some Ghost Whisperer up in here. Oh, things on General Hospital are about to get out of control, and I'm really excited to see how it plays out. Dante and Lulu are totally my new Grissom and Sara. I'm thisclose to writing fic, I'm serious.

- You should all be watching Life Unexpected. It's adorable and I do not want it to get cancelled before its time. Just give it a chance, you'll like it, I swear.

- My dad wanted me to go see a townhouse that he thought I'd be interested in, so last night I left work at 5:30 and went on a journey that finally had me in front of said townhouse at 6:50, after an hour and 20 minutes of the most bullshittey traffic ever. Sorry, but no. I will not be living in Richardson, but thanks for trying.

- I love my new laptop. I've named her Helena Cassadine.

- On Sunday I had an enjoyable evening with friends. We played Clue, which I don't understand why I suck so badly at, and Trivial Pursuit, where I also sucked completely. I don't know if this means I suck in general at games or my friends are just that good.

- As usual, I need to write something. ANYTHING. Any suggestions/thoughts/abuse you want to give me?

Things that pertain to being an Axl fangirl:
- Oh, you know, the usual. I've gone way past the point of normalness yet I know that and as long as I don't think that I am normal for having these constant swarms of thoughts that are way beyond my control at this point, I think it's okay. I know I'm annoying, but am I really hurting anyone? I've been this way my entire life and I happen to find it at least somewhat enjoyable, and if I can keep my friends around even though they know I'm the craziest person ever, then whatevs, right?

Wow. Ramble much?

Time for Jennifer Love Hewitt and her ghostly boobs.

Hi, humans. I'm at my dad's farm in East Texas. For the most part, I am trying to put myself through an internet/Axl detox. It got bad yesterday, you guys. This one GN'R forum I'm on made me so mad and disgusted with other human beings that I found myself in my co-workers office complaining about how people are just such dickface asshead douchebags when it comes to Axl, and it's pissing me the hell off. And she just kind of stares at me and says, "I think it's kind of weird that you care so much about this." And...she's right. And I know that. And it's getting scary. So instead of bringing my laptop to the farm and obsessing over every little detail of the concert tonight, I will step away from the computer (well, except for right this second, I suppose) and enjoy nature. Ahhh, nature.

I just wanted to share a few pictures I took of the farm during Thanksgiving. They please me, and they are why I want my future endeavors to include nature photography.





Just one more 'cause this computer is as slow as ass...



Have a good weekend, friends. My goal for the rest of the night is to go completely Twitter-less until I get to work tomorrow, around 10 or 11. I really want this to happen. I am not powerless against twitter. I am woman.

Holy crapsticks, guys! All my pointless twittering for the last 9 months has finally paid off...Sebastian Bach just retweeted me! See!



(Thanks to brandie and her awesome screen-capping abilities! Click for bigness.)

Sebastian caused panic in the GN'R world last week when he said that Axl's twitter wasn't real. We all lost our shit for a few hours until he confirmed that it was, in fact, real. I was about to hang up my Twitter shorts forever if that would have been the case. But this did culminate in me asking Ron Thal (GN'R guitarist, all-around awesome dude) on Facebook if Axl's twitter was real and he answered me in like less than an hour. Now if only Axl would reply to people, okay, just me, on twitter, my life would be complete! /sad

I am excited that Sebastian and Axl will be sharing the same stage again, starting tomorrow night. They usually sing at least one song together. These two men were the reason I went into puberty, you guys. I realize it's 18 years later, but I'm okay with it.

In real life news, I just kinda seem to be floating along in my own little world lately. Usually I call my mom every day and I haven't even been doing that. She was actually worried about my safety on Sunday because I hadn't talked to her since Friday. And when I went to dinner with my dad on Sunday, he was all, "You're very quiet tonight." Well. I don't know. I'm in my little Axl world of glee, first of all, and second of all, I am very focused on one single aspect of my life at this moment, and that is losing fucking weight. I just have SO MUCH to lose and I've never been able to do it successfully before, so why do I think I can do it now? Sure, I've been okay with eating the past day and a half, what makes me think I can do it for a month and a half? I need to do it for a YEAR and a half, which is probably how long it would take to lose the weight I need to. I can work out every day and it won't matter to my stomach. I have to eat right, and that continues to be the hardest challenge of my life for some reason.

Also, on Saturday, my BFF came over and we had a lovely time. I made her sit through Do It For The Band: The Women of the Sunset Strip. I've had it on my DVR for like 6 months, but I knew it would make me crazy to watch it. I know the glam metal scene of the eighties wasn't all fun and games. But it makes me sad that I was not a part of history like that. I so would have been the best groupie! Anyway, my BFF is the best and you betta recognize.

Last night I accepted a friend's request on FB from a chick I haven't talked to in forever. She and I were friends on this internet-like bulletin board we frequented as teenagers. She actually went on a date with Josh before I did, but she was like 16 and he was 15 and I was 17 and it was a very, very long time ago. I think I blew her mind by telling her that Josh and I have been together for 4 years. Heh. She said she ran into my ex-boyfriend at the community college where he teaches a few years ago. Awkward. But it's always nice to have a positive facebook friend experience. I can dig it.

I want to write something. Anything.

Also, I changed my email address. I brought myself into the 21st century by FINALLY ditching my AOL email address and switching to Gmail. I've had AOL since 1996. I thought perhaps it was time to move on.

I should probably go back to working at this time. I'm doing a cooking show that is actually quite awesome and fulfills me as a person. Have a good week, y'all.

I've added some people lately and some of you may wonder what I'm all about. I've posted this a few times, it remains accurate.

First of all, add me on twitter if that's your thing. Be warned, though - ever since Axl joined (@axlrose), I've pretty much been a complete twitter whore.

- I turned 30 last year. I'm cool with it now but pretty much freaked the fuck out about it for the year leading up to it.

- I live in Dallas, Texas. This is pretty much permanent, but I do want to live somewhere with mountains eventually.

- I have a boyfriend, Josh. We've been together since December 2005. We don't live together. It's a long story. But I do love him, I love his dogs, he takes very good care of me when I need him to and makes the world's best guacamole.

- I like my job, which is in closed captioning. I can't do this job forever because it pays shittily and there's not much growth potential. But I love my co-workers and the job itself it fun because it allows me to get emotionally involved in every TV show and movie ever made.

- I consider myself a writer, and my lifelong goal has always been to write a novel. I've actually written several for Nanowrimo, but none that I consider good enough to publish. I got a really lovely camera for Christmas and plan to use this year to learn about nature photography, which I hope to cultivate into a hobby/career. I've also written a lot of fanfic. Some of it is good. Some of it sucks.

- I am in a losing battle with my weight, like most humans in the world.

- I have had a major obsession/infatuation/whatever with Axl Rose since I was 12 years old. I saw GN'R live in 2001 in Vegas, which was very fulfilling but not fulfilling enough. I also thought Chinese Democracy was worth the wait and pretty much made of music genius. GN'R is going on tour this year, so watch out, 'cause I will talk about Axl all day and night if anyone would actually let me. It's his fault. If he wasn't so adorable, we wouldn't have this problem.

- I have friends. They are very patient with me and my ongoing obsessions. We like to have game nights, see movies, talk shit about people, and be bad food enablers with each other.

- I love dogs a lot. I don't have one myself because I like in a teeny tiny apartment, but everyone I know has one and I love them like my own.

- My mom lives in Utah. I miss her all the time and like to visit even if Mormons confuse me. I also love Las Vegas but go there less often these days because it always gets me in trouble.

- I like to play Clue. And Monopoly. And write CSI fanfic. And drink Dr. Pepper and eat fritos. Most of my shoes are Doc Martens. My favorite movie currently is Zack and Miri Make a Porno. I love thunderstorms and my car and Austin. And burritos.

Welcome to my f-list. If you hate me, I'll understand. And: rock on.

Here's a video of Axl from December. He's lookin' fierce and sounding awesome. I want to have his babies.

Hi, friends. For yuletide, I wrote a little ditty for You've Got Mail. Since the author reveal took place today, I can now post it without fear of the fanfic cops taking me down. Thanks to scullyseviltwin for the beta and for nudging me to give a little extra.

Title: 140 Characters
Author: Butliz
Fandom: You've Got Mail
Rating: Teen
Summary: Kathleen always has a rough time navigating through Christmas, but fortunately her family is there to keep her in good spirits.

( I am a lone reed. )

Once again, Happy New Year, friends. I usually fail at resolutions, but still:
- I want 2010 to be the year that I lose weight. I want this to be the decade that I am no longer fat. I spent an entire decade being overweight, and I'm over it. I feel like I can do it this time. I have no reason to believe it, but...I just feel like I can. It NEEDS to happen. I can't make excuses anymore.

- IF GN'R comes to the US, I want to go to at least 3 concerts. I understand this will probably be somewhat costly, but whatever. I want to. It will happen.

- I want to learn the shit out of my new fancy camera, and by 2011, I want to be able to use it to make money. My brother's boyfriend is somewhat of a professional photographer, so he can help.

I don't exactly want my goal of becoming a nature photographer to replace my goal of being a novelist. But somewhere along the way, I realized that I may never make it as a novelist. I like what I write, but it's not exactly brilliant or life-changing. I guess I'd really have to actually put my stuff out there before I make a decision like that, buttt...I don't know. Phhttt.

- Maybe I should have the resolution to talk less about Axl, or really just to obsess over him less in general. I'm too old for this, I'm aware of that. But that's no fun. I'll see what I can do, but I promise nothing. The Canadian tour starts in less than 2 weeks!

- The usual of being healthier, keeping a cleaner apartment and car, maybe getting a new house/condo in which underwriting doesn't fuck me over, etc. Maybe at least start looking for a new job. Such as this.

Here's a picture of me and BFF co-worker that my other co-worker took when she was doing her ADIML. I like my hair in this picture.


In completely different news, I am spending this evening watching a Guns N Roses concert from 1992. It's only fitting, since New Year's Eve hasn't been the same since 2001, when I actually got to see my own GNR concert with my eyeballs. Getting to this concert was not easy, but when I am determined to do something, I'm going to do the shit out of it.

( Click if you care. )

What up, friend pals? I just saw on the GNR forum that I frequent that thanks to one of the guitarists for GNR, they are giving away a backstage pass for the tour in Canada. OMG WHY DON'T I LIVE IN CANADA?! I just looked at flights for funsies, the cheapest is $1,400. And I don't even have a passport. akfljasdkjfaskdjfa.

Anyway. I am stealing this from my friend and yours nanci_raygun. That's right, it's a fucking DECADE IN REVIEW!!

2000 - I was 20, a junior in college at the University of North Texas. I had a boyfriend. I didn't do much but go to class, follow my boyfriend around, and obsess over finding a home for my doggie Charlie. I was a mess at this time, seriously. I could barely do anything for myself and I depended on my mom and my boyfriend a lot. I got into a car accident and while I had no transportation, I read like every single Baby-Sitters Club book ever. When I was 20.

I had a lot of issues with Matt, the boyfriend, at the time, too. If I told you the things he got away with in this relationship...I WAS SO STUPID. I should have dumped his ass years before that, but I was just an idiot. One good thing was all the road trips. We went on these 2 week-long road trips all over the country as much as we could. At least there was that. We went to Vegas for the first time on New Year's that year and stayed at the Luxor. I only found out a few days later (a blackjack dealer in California told me, it was really kind of bizarre, actually) that RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET at Mandalay Bay, Guns N Roses had their first concert since 1993. I was heartbroken.

Oh, and I forgot: I got into church that year, too. I had a 37 year old roommate in my dorm room who was very religious, and she took me to church with her. I found a connection there, it was something I really needed at the time. That's how I met Natalie (who, by the by, texted me yesterday wanting to know what BON JOVI song she wanted to listen to in my car last time we hung out...she meant GN'R. This hurt my soul.) and how I made most of my college friends.

( This got so much longer than I intended... )

What up, y'all? I have a new layout up in here, thanks to the majestic talents of xlivvielockex and thefulcrum. Come take a look, it's pretty damn cool, AND I feel like a rocket scientist for being able to figure out how to fix it all up. I changed the colors like 10 times and probably will again. Good times. I also tried to use a rename token but because I'm stupid, I opened a journal with the name I want a few months ago. So...I don't know what to do with that. I deleted it and changed the name, so I'll probably have to wait a month before I can try again. Phhtt.

Today it snowed, and you know what happens when it snows in Dallas? We get to leave an hour and half early from work! I went to the grocery store, made some steak, ate a ton of it, and now I'm watching Friends because I am predictable like that.

At work today, we worked on Precious. That movie...was not pleasant.

I really don't have anything else constructive to say at the moment. Um...rock on.

Hi, friends. I hope everyone is having a lovely Christmas/holiday/Friday night. I received some awesome stuff this year, including a Nikon D3000 camera that I know nothing about and will probably need to learn for a year before I do anything important with it. I love it. I think I will name it Bonnie.

I also got some money, a book called American Hair Metal which is completely awesome, a new Coach purse and wallet, and my dad seems to want me to be an artist someday because I got all manner of markers, crayons, pencils, etc. Even if I am 30, I still love my crayons, y'all.

I also managed to transfer my ADIML pics, so I'll do that tomorrow, probably. Whee.

We're having roast beef and garlic mashed potatoes tonight. I can't wait to put it in my mouth.

In other news, it's Christmas and I fucking love this picture:


I'd hit that so hard, it would cause an earthquake.

Anyway. Carry on.

Some things:

- I am in such a good mood lately! I just am. I am not eating like such a pig and my clothes are fitting better, for one. It's almost Christmas, my boyfriend is adorable, good things are happening with my most favorite of people and bands, and life is good.

- I'm doing ADIML today. No good reason, just thought it would be fun. I talked my co-worker into doing it, too. Y'all are going to get some closed captions up in here.

- Shout out to scullyseviltwin, who will beta the crap out of a fic based on a movie that came out 11 years ago that I'm pretty sure no one has ever or will ever write a fic about. Internet cookies for you!

- Here's Lily. I love me some Lily.


- Tonight there will be Christmas shopping. Epic Christmas shopping. And it will be good.

- Happy holidays, friends. I am glad to have all of you in my lives. And rock on.

Hey, here's a year-end meme. Bet you've never seen one of those before!

( Read more )

Hear that? That's the sound of a fangirl explosion.

I know you guys are getting tired of this, and don't worry, at least after the concert on the 19th there will be a month-long break before the Canadian tour starts and I won't be bugging everyone daily about it. I always feel like I'm being annoying and weird about these things, but I suppose if it annoyed you too much, you can defriend me. I will probably take it personally for a few days and then get over it, 'cause I'm so mature like that. But I can't help it today! Axl seems determined to make a comeback and if tonight (Last night? Tomorrow night? It's the future!) in Japan was any indication, it's going to happen and in a big way.

The concert just ended, it was 3 hours plus and included nearly every song on Chinese Democracy, plus the beginning of Don't Cry and all of Patience and other assorted songs they haven't played in years. Ever since Slash, etc. left the band, I haven't given a shat about the rest of the people in it. But now they have DJ Ashba and Bumblefoot and other assorted awesomeness, and Axl really seems to be enjoying himself and they're rocking everyone's faces off. I'm just so PROUD. Axl has been through a lot of shit--some of it self-inflicted, I admit--over the years and he could have just hung it up and never left his ridiculous Malibu mansion ever again. But he's out there, he's punching photographers and tweeting and kicking ass and taking names...it's an amazing time to be a GNR fan, and I'll tell you, most of the time it SUCKS with a capital S. But I have a feeling that's all going to change. And I am so, so happy. You rock on with your bad self, GNR.

Hrmm. Anyway. In other news, and yes there is other news:
- Today is Josh and I's four year anniversary. 4 years ago, I was lonely and seeking companionship, and Josh, whom I hadn't spoken to in 6 or 7 years, told me amazing things about how he felt, then he came over and we acted on those feelings. He also got his car towed because I told him to park across from the dumpster but he didn't listen! Muahaha. It's been a bumpy ride and like I've said a thousand times, I have no clue about the future. But he is my redheaded guacamole man, and good times.

- I've been doing the early overtime/gym after work thing this week. It makes me feel productive, although waking up at 6:15 will never stop sucking.

- Christmas is next week and I have finished shopping for my mom and stepdad, but nobody else. I need money to accomplish this, and yet I don't have any. Hmm. Interesting.

- I need to start watching the stuff that's been accumulating on my DVR instead of watching Friends all the time. But like they say, it's moo. It's a cow's opinion. It doesn't matter. It's moo.

Anyway. Thanks for sticking around, friends. And may your holiday be full of fangirl explosions, as well.

I swear I'll come back soon and do a real entry that has real words that aren't about a person that I've never met/probably never will meet/have spent entirely too much of my life obsessing over. But for now, who wants a pic spam of Axl hotness? You, you say?

( Then come in, why don't you... )

So I was in the middle of both working and trying to find pictures for a Hot Axl picspam I'm about to reward us all with when I recieved a delivery. Oh, yes, I have a boyfriend who is not a middle-aged rock star that I will probably never meet/talk to/etc., but is in fact a nice lovely boy in his twenties who actually cares about me and wants me to know that he remembers tomorrow is our anniversary (FOUR YEARS!). Sometimes I have to be gently reminded of these things.



Aww. I love my Josh.

Since the last time I updated:
a. I haven't slept much.
b. Axl punched a photographer in LA. This surprises no one.
c. Axl (and the band) acquired a Twitter! My life will probably never be the same.
d. There was a concert in Taiwan, AXL SHOWED UP ON TIME!! They played a bunch of awesomeness from Chinese Democracy including This I Love (which is my favorite song on the album), some songs from Appetite and not nearly enough from Use Your Illusions.
e. It took a while, but finally a picture has surfaced. It looks as though he's gained some weight and ditched the braids. I like it, damn it. Enjoy your cheeseburger, Axl! You deserve it!



Hopefully there will be more pictures because this is not enough to obsess over.

There's another concert on the 13th, so that is something to look forward to.

I should work now.

So I'm going to be talking about Axl a lot in these coming months. And since I know there are very few of you that read me here on ElJay who care at all about Axl and GN'R, I will put these things under a cut. You're welcome.

( I am on fangirl red alert... )
In other news, I am halfway into SVU season 2. The episode where Olivia's mom died kinda made me ponder the thought of Olivia/Cragen. I wonder if there's any kind of fic out there for that, or if that's too disturbing to ponder. I've only had 2 or 3 moments of "Elliot and Olivia 4eva!" so I would like to see more that.

Urm...that's about it. Rock on, Thursday.

It's Friday and I don't want to work. Here is a long ass meme for your enjoyment.

( Hello. )

So the condo thing isn't over yet, y'all. My dad is getting all up in there. We'll see...cross your fingers for me!

Also:



Snorgles!



Also snorgles!